Hello to all West Coast Cowan supporters,

It’s Troy Luff here with the first instalment of Luff’s Stuff. The aim of this column is to inform, educate and entertain WCC players, supporters and administrators with a range of issues (not always football related).

Today’s article touches on fashion, in particular some annoying trends that are emerging or have had their day.

• Put you collar down. A popped collar is not cool, it’s untidy. Wearing the collar of your favourite polo popped just makes you look like a tool.

• Pull your pants up. Why do the youth of today insist on wearing their pants around their thighs giving them an “I don’t even have an arse” look? Ridiculous.

• Mokawks. Becks sported one of these two World-Cups ago. That is more than 6 years. Surely Perth isn’t that backward. Same goes for designer mullets.

• Suits with trainers/thongs. This makes the wearer instantly look like a dickhead. Save it for the hosts of Australian Idol.

• Football boots should be black only, unless you are a Nyoongar or some lairy bastard who takes screamers and kicks arsey goals eg Alan Didak, Russell Robertson, Jeff Farmer.

• Three quarter pants with normal socks. This gives the wearer a “waiting for the floods” look or an “I’ve just grown into the pants that Mum took up three years ago” look. If you don’t have ankle length socks, give the three-quarters a swerve.

• Am I the only guy who doesn’t have a tattoo of barbed wire or the Southern Cross on my biceps, shoulder or back? Tattoos are supposed to be permanent so why not show some imagination?

• If you are not wearing a belt, don’t tuck your shirt in. Simple as that.

• Black shoes = black belt. Brown shoes = brown belt. Simple. If you are wearing those new “snakeskin” style shoes in white or cream then it probably doesn’t matter what belt you wear as you already look like a squeezer.

• Wearing sunglasses inside makes you instantly look like a complete fuckwit. It’s ok for blind people and those albinos who are very sensitive to light though.

I hope that this clears up any confusion and will help to raise the dress standards around the club. Stay tuned for the next issue of “Luff’s Stuff”.

Cheers,

Luffy.